Posted by cinderellaareus on September 20, 2018 at 12:07 PM | under: Thursday

I had my first fight when I was around 6 or 7 yrs old. Grade 1. We were at the school chapel where I banged my classmate's head against the wall. I wasn't hurt whatsoever and yet when the whole commotion was over, I started crying. Mom saw me and asked what was wrong. The classmates explained that they were fighting against my cousin, not me.

When we were young, Mom always told us, no matter what happens, she got our back. Even when we're wrong, she may not tolerate, but she will always take our side. She kept true to these words up to this day. I think in a way, that made me both fearless and stubborn.

What Mom told me that day was so effective that it became my first and last fight ever: "Anak, may tahi pala sa kilay yung kaklase mong inuntog mo. E paano kung mamatay yun? Alam mo bang makukulong ang Nanay?"


I grew up with Mom saying, wag daw kaming magpapaapi. If someone wrongs us, she told us to tell her at sya na ang bahala. She told us to avoid fighting. I swear there were many times na hindi ako nagsumbong sa nanay ko, not because I was scared of the person involved, but because I was scared FOR the person involved. I figured that taking matters in my own hands is way kinder than making my enemies experience my mother's wrath.

Because of Mom, I became a person capable of protecting myself. Now that I'm an adult, I don't know if that's always a good thing.
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I'm feeling a lot better lately but I still don't feel like mingling with anyone. But I got to attend our club's meeting tomorrow because it's payment time. Besides, I can't go on hermit mode all my life, right?
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I know my taste and I know the kind of men I'm drawn to. Sabi nila, "follow your heart." l think that's bullshit.
...
...
Siguro nalulungkot lang ako.

Balance

Posted by princess_bride on September 20, 2018 at 09:58 AM

LIFE IS A BALANCE OF HOLDING ON AND LETTING GO.

"We heal our minds when we remember happy times and let go of bad memories..

We heal our souls when we pray not only for those we love but also for those who may hate us..

We heal our hearts when we truly forgive and allow peace to reign in our hearts..

Quit worrying about how everything is going to turn out..

Live one day at a time, better yet, make the most of this moment..."

Posted by chronicwind on September 19, 2018 at 11:20 PM

Hmmm i could really like this one.

Posted by chronicwind on September 19, 2018 at 02:45 AM

Weird din ng casual sex no? Masarap lang while doing it, pero hindi naglilinger yung happiness

Parang wala lang kinabukasan

Very pantawid-loneliness lang

(Or you know, i need to properly date. Wag yung nauuwi sa kama agad)

1034

Posted by cinderellaareus on September 16, 2018 at 10:38 PM | under: Sunday

Clock reads 9:32PM. It's the 3rd day of my 4-day long weekend. Tomorrow's the last and I'd be out for a movie.

A few days back, I watched Goyo. I can't understand where the bad reviews are coming from because it was so good.

The last time, shinare ko yung post ni Heneral tungkol sa Goyo, tapos, Bes, hinart nya! Syempre lumundag ang fangirl heart ko. Nakakatuwa.

Totoong isa si Heneral sa mga writers na hinahangaan ko. Pero bukod sa writing skills nya, siguro yung mga pinaniniwalaan nya ang higit na hinahangaan ko at yung tapang nya na tumayo para rito.

Gusto ko ring maging writer. Gusto kong maging parte ng isang pelikulang mag-aangat ng antas ng kalidad ng mga pelikula sa Pilipinas. Pero bukod sa pagsusulat, gusto ko rin maging kasing tapang ni Heneral.
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My definition of a bad ass woman is someone who gets what she eats from her backyard, runs with her dog in the morning to stay in shape, and fearlessly does whatever outrageous things she feel like doing... but most of all, she has to be kind.

I want to be a bad ass woman.
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Ang mahal daw ng sili ngayon. May tanim naman kaming sili pero saktong pang gamit lang. Ikayaman ko kaya kung magtatanim ako ng marami pang sili?

Gusto ko nang magtayo ng sarili kong garden. O kaya farm. O pwede rin hacienda para bongga.
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I set my other phone on airplane mode and I'm now playing some meditative song on it. Itinabi ko sa pinakamaarte kong alaga.

Two months since I've started planting succulents and I feel like it's very close to having pets. Hindi talaga prepared ang puso kong mamatayan ng halaman. To date, I have 17 plants. My most favorite one is the most maarte among them. Sabi sa group na finafollow ko sa Facebook, fast-draining soil, once a month watering, bright shaded area and no to full sun. Then above all, wag daw papansinin. Sinunod ko lahat ng advice except the last. I checked it kanina, meron na namang molds at mga latang dahon, samantalang hindi pa sya nadidiligan ever. Hays. O sya, walang pansinan kung walang pansinan. Sinubukan ko nalang rin syang patugtugan ng music dahil healthy daw sa halaman. Sana mag work. At sana naman, wag mamatay ang paborito kong alaga.
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I was feeling exceptionally lonely this morning. I thought maybe making someone happy will make me happy, so I helped Mom with the laundry. I also help her cook her favorite ginataang bilo bilo. Ok naman...

Iniisip ko kung hanggang kelan ba ko ganito.

Posted by chronicwind on September 15, 2018 at 12:37 AM

I dub these feels:

Post-meaningless karat loneliness

Posted by chronicwind on September 14, 2018 at 12:05 PM

siya yung tipong di mo masasabihan sarcastically ng "pogi ka?" kasi pota pogi talaga siya

Posted by chronicwind on September 14, 2018 at 11:26 AM

So natuloy and 

he's easily the girthiest i've been with ang hirap haha

but also the handsomest as in di ako naprepare ng photos niya as to how goodlooking he is in person

and that body jusque

model material siya talaga (and indeed nagmodel nga daw siya before in his own country haha)

but

he smokes

and ngayon ko lang naamoy buhok ko and!!!! amoy sogo - usok sigarilyo + karat smell ugh kakapit pala sayo yun nang wagas

never again to smokers!!!

(cheret feeling ko pupuntahan ko ulit siya soon)

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