Reds

Posted by cinderellaareus on June 3, 2020 at 10:46 PM | under: 水曜日

Training has started last Monday. 12 days daw ata ito. Ang lamig ng boses nung nga Indiano. Antok na antok ako, Bes. But to be fair, mababait naman sila.

Yesterday, I had this user na naiiyak na talaga ko dahil di ko ma solve yung issue nya. The whole training, I was thinking of his issue kaya wala akong na absorb. Sabaw na sabaw talaga.

They have recordings ng training. Aaralin ko nalang. Sana hindi ako makatulog.

Hayst. Know what, I asked the Heavens for this. Yung ituloy ng client yung contract samin. Ok lang naman. Ayoko rin naman mawalan ng trabaho, pero takte, mega brain bleed talaga.

Ang daming forms. Ang tedious ng process. Ewan.

Siguro hindi naman talaga namin to mage gets the first time di ba? Tatag nga ng mga kasama ko, ni hindi nag no notes.

Papasok pa ko para sa training bukas at sa Friday kahit off ko. 

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Work is easy. 

Work is good.

Everything I need is coming to me.

Eto yung nantra ko araw araw bago pumasok. The fact na nakaka sign out parin naman ako ng buhay, siguro nga effective.

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Kailangan ko pang i-follow up ilang mga bagay bagay sa club. Konting ire nalang naman at makakatakas na ko sa position ko. Ang weird no. Alam ko naman na hindi nila kasalanan pero minsan naiirita ko sa kanilang lahat. Iniisip ko kung mas maigi bang lumipat sa ibang club. Pagnakikita or nakakausap or kahit naiisip ko lang sila, yung pagod feeling lang kasi ang tanging naalala ko.

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Will accompany Mom sa Starmall bukas.

Nasira yung tv. Aalamin lang namin kung pano setup ng warranty. 

Naawa rin ako sa mama ko. Hindi mabubuhay yun ng walang tv. We do have other tvs at home, pero ito kasi yung pinakamalaki at ito yung nasa sala. Binaba nya yung tv sa tindahan at nilagay sa sala. Ngayon wala na syang tv sa tindahan. Sa totoo lang pinipigalan ko lang ang sarili kong bilhan sya ng bagong tv. Kailangan kong makaipon para sakali mang merong magkasakit sa amin.

Gusto ko nang yumaman. Alam ko balang araw, mangyayari yun dahil talented ako.

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Boring ng walang crush. Walang pang pasaya ng araw. Bilingual lahat ng nasa umaga. Mejo tropa na kasi yung mga yun. Kahiyaan ng i-crush.

Ang daming benefits kung maililipat ako ulet sa pang gabi. May crush na ulet ako, makakatakas pa ko sa unli-from, super brain bleed, tedious process na pag support sa japanese users.

Ewan ko. Tsaka sa panggabi kahit papano, nakakasabay ko sila mama mag almusal at tanghalian. Sa alanganin kong schedule now, wala na kong nakakasabay kumain.

Pero ok lang din. Kahit ano. Bahala na ang Universe. 

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Ayon sa chismis nung mga nakaraang linggo, may apat na cases daw ng drug-related killings dito sa amin. Ngayon everytime na may naririnig akong pag putok, pakiramdam ko may bago na namang pagpatay.

I don't have the energy to browse my toxic fb timeline anymore. Hindi rin ako masyadong nakakanood ng tv. Hindi ko alam kung ano nang nangyayari sa mundo.

Kagabi, ipinagdasal ko sa langit ang presidente. For guidance,  wisdom and protection. I also asked na sana hindi tayo masakop ng China.

Wala e. Hands up na ko.

Posted by chronicwind on June 2, 2020 at 10:33 PM

MAYGAHD JUSQOOO VERY URGENT TALAGA ANG DESIRE NILA TO KILL US ALL ANO???!?!?!??!

Any any pwede ka ma-tag as terrorist ANO NA PINAS AAAGHGHGGHGGH

Anger and confusion.

Posted by blueside2 on June 1, 2020 at 03:13 AM | under: My everyday life

Trying to study while mom is here isn't difficult enough already, PLDT's crappy service adds to the problem. Ever since that typhoon that came last month. There's a crackling sound on the phoneline which indicates there's a line problem. Everytime it rains both the phone's dial tone and the internet is gone. But comes back when the rains stops. When a technician came, it checked our phone and the main line, but never gave an update. The next day, another one came and replaced our phone with a new one. We thought the problem was fixed until it rained again still experience the same problem. And then it became worse that we get frequent disconnections and no dial tone at all even with no rain. Where' trying to contact their hotline again and all we hear is a stupid answering machine. 

I was happy when the government stated we'll be GCQ starting June 1st (today), but it turned the opposite, the LGU guidelines where still MECQ even thought its declared as GCQ. Different from the guidelines the government was given. This got me confused and angry at the same time. We have a low active covid cases, but it seems they counted the covid cases in BJMP as well despite its isolated and far away from the community. Calling it GCQ is a lie since its still strict movement for the people with the difference is the liquor ban, travel pass, opening more jobs, allowing tricycles to operate, and allow barbershops to open. We still have Barangay schedules, We still need a Quarantine Pass, and still have a short curfew hours. It would've been easier to understand to still call it MECQ as GCQ with MECQ guidelines just creates confusion. I have to honeslty say that I'm angry and disappointed with our Mayor's decisions. Sure others could say its the for the sake of the people, but calling it GCQ is a lie and downright confusing. Gusto ko na talaga palitan mayor naman. I am looking forward to the next elections in 2022 more than ever.

Posted by chronicwind on June 1, 2020 at 12:01 AM

*

His partner gave birth today so now he has a newborn. I don't know what to feel about it actually. Of course I am happy that she's a healthy baby. She's adorable. But there's a twinge in me that feels -- I hate to admit it -- jealous? And I don't know where that's coming from, because it's not a life I want to live right now anyway. I've tried living with him and I know that it's not it, he's not it. So I don't know. Maybe it's just a wave of grief -- or the unfairness of it all? Na bawal siya maging mas masaya than me. Coz bakit siya may bagong milestone sa buhay, agad agad, while I'm here, discontented? I know what I feel is irrational and unfair and of course he deserves happiness. Maybe inggit nga lang talaga ko -- that deep down I also want the happiness that comes with having a child?? Haay if I have all the money in the world talaga.... But even then I'm conflicted because I don't think I can live with the guilt of bringing a child into this cruel world. Maybe inggit lang talaga ako na yung ibang tao, nagagawa nila yun. Anyway so ayon inggitera lang talaga ko

Cruel

Posted by cinderellaareus on May 29, 2020 at 10:47 AM | under: 金曜日

Club anniversary's online celebration tonight. 

I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna go. I haven't read any messages, even those that I was tagged to. I don't want additional work. I don't want additional stress. I don't want to hear any more demands. I know this is a position I swore upon. A task I promised to do, but who cares.

Am I cruel? Well, it's not like they can't do this without me, you know. I just find them so exhausting, I can't bear having to give in to any more of their demands anymore. Lol, I know they might not even be demanding of anything right now. I wouldn't know. I haven't read the messagages. But still.

Normally, I think I'm so much more responsible than this.

Also, some of my friends will be there. And the new president is also my friend.... pero...

Have you ever felt like this, repulsed at the thought of having to deal with certain people again?

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Sa kabila ng lahat, marami paring magandang bagay na nangyayari.

A friend who tested positive in COVID has tested negative twice na, so she's cleared. Ang bait ng Langit!

Also, ang sarap nung carbonara na inorder namin kahapon. Hehe.

Mga pang araw araw na buhay

Posted by cinderellaareus on May 28, 2020 at 12:19 PM | under: 木曜日

Mga bagay na natutunan ko nitong mga nakaraang araw:

1. Hindi nababawasan ang inis sa pag express ng galit, ie. pagsuntok sa pader o pagbato ng mga bagay bagay. Kalma. Hinga.

2. Pag upset ka, or nalulungkot, gumawa ka ng bagay na makakapagpasaya sa iba.

3. Minsan, try mo rin maghugas ng plato.

The week started on my new shift high, tas nag fluctuate na high and low through out the week. Ang daming mga araw na upset ako, kinailangan kong mas madalas na makinig ng Feast Worship. Napahugas din ako ng plato to shift perspective. Effective naman. Nag sneezing fiesta lang ako ng very slight at nagkaron ng konting butlig butlig sa kamay, pero keri lang. Worth the allergies. 

Natapos ang week na ok naman ako. Mas kalmado na.

Kung tutuusin, relatively petiks ang morning shift. Mostly naging maayos naman ang mga encounters ko sa users na sinupport ko. Kahit petiks, sinisikap ko parin gawin yung best ko. That's why the pagod is still there.

Off ko ngayon. There's that perpetual need to stay away from other human beings except my family and a few friends. Those that never demand so much. Ang dami ding crappy stuff sa social media so eto, sayang ang 1GB per day promo ng Globe. Maka nood nga ng Ghibli movie mamaya.

Parang ang daming gastusin these days. Anlaki pa ng bawas sa sahod ko sa isang araw na umabsent ako. Damang dama, mapapa aray ka. Hinding hindi na talaga ako aabsent.

Kung tutuusin, sobrang laki ang natitipid ko ngayong quarantine.

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I love the feel of my facial skin today. Last night, oil cleansing, facial massage, soap, scrub, facial yoga, toner, serum, mask, eye cream, moisturizer, sunblock. Dapat may essence pa yan, kasa wala ako mahanap. Wala naman pinapagandahan at madalas pagod ako after work so natutulog lang ako kagad at wala ng routine routine. Ngayon ko nalang ulit nagawa yan dahil wala akong pasok the following day.

Tingin ko pwede naman palang alagaan ng sarili not because you want to look good for someone else, kundi para sa sarili mo lang. Try ko tong gawin araw araw. I'm not expecting any dramatic change since malaki talaga ng pores ko naturally. Even my beautiful mom, malaki rin ng pores. Pero ok lang. Basta clear ang glowing. Ngayon, pinipigilan ko munang mag online shop ng beauty products. Mag iipon muna ko for emergency. Gusto ko rin makabili ulet ng stocks pag may sapat na ipon na ko.

Thankful ako sa lahat ng pera at blessings na meron ako ngayon. Salamat, Universe. Pengi pa ng mas maraming marami pa. Hehe. Gusto ko nang yumaman e. Thank you!

Next week, 1 week kaming may training. Kahit off ko, need parin pumasok. Ok lang, iwas labas, iwas gastos. Tsaka kailangan ko rin to. Para hindi ako nangangamote sa trabaho.

Better The Devil You Know

Posted by notwocanoccupy on May 28, 2020 at 12:14 PM

This is a placeholder entry for when I am able to find the right words for what the past two months has done to me. 
...

PS.

I hope you are all doing okay.

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