I was feeling sad in most part of the day yesterday. In a way, I'm upset that I'm still here while Partner will be moving on with his life na.
But then I came home. Found my niece playfully hiding just to 'scare' me. Then there's Mom who picked me up from the bus stop. The neighborhood's dogs, Pogi and Panget were there as a part of my welcoming committee. Ido was there too, and in these simple things, I know I'm beyond blessed.
The cage will give me money for the transfer.
Tita N was there to help me find a place to stay.
Brother will join so I think it wouldn't be so lonely.
Maybe I can finish the Simbang Gabi this year. My favorite chapel will just be a few minutes walk. Really, what's with all the drama?
Later tonight a wonderful human being who happens to be my best friend will visit our house together with the man she loves. By March, together with my entire family, I will witness their beautiful wedding. We'll be staying 3 days and 2 nights at the resort. For free. All of us. I'm so excited to swim and enjoy the place with my niece and everyone else.
Next week will be KCOn and I'll be staying in unit near the venue. Tiny, yes, but I have the place all for myself and that's a total upgrade compared to the hostel I stayed in last year.
I feel like the Universe is spoiling me.
Gusto ko ng moon cactus, lithops, split rocks at astrophytum. Mejo mahal, but I think I've grown my skills in taking care of plants, hindi naman siguro masasayang ang salapi kung bibili ako ng mamahalin. But I'll be staying somewhere else soon. Hindi ko rin nga pala sila maalagaan.
Sira sira na ang mga sapatos ko and I could use buying new pairs of pants (kasi masisikip na lahat), pero mas gusto ko talagang bumili nalang ng cactus.
These comments are coming from people who have relished and continue to relish the taste of meat, of cows and chickens and pigs who no doubt are more capable of feeling pain than starfish. An overwhelming amount of evidence is available to us, evidence that tells us what we already know: that animals are not unfeeling, unthinking objects that are not aware or cannot feel whatever cruelty we inflict on them. And these people see starfish being thrown and that's when they react?
I'm sorry. It sounds like I'm speaking from a self-righteous point of view and, maybe I am. But come on. How can so many people ignore what it so plainly obvious? That the pig we eat is just as if not more intelligent than the dog we love, that the cow whose skin we use for clothing is just as socially complex than our cat? Certainly more than a starfish.
I'm starting to get tired of this hypocrisy. We go around pretending we're "animal lovers" or that we care about "God's creatures," when everytime we eat, we participate in the most massive and organized act of killing ever in history. When everytime we drink milk or eat dairy and cheese, we allow the repeated insemination of cows, from whom we take calves away and murder as veal, and take the milk for ourselves. And I'm getting tired of this bullshit that God "intended for us" to murder these animals. He asked us to be 'stewards of creation,' not destroyers.
And I'm so, so tired of people telling me that avoiding meat and dairy and fish is "only for the rich," while they continue to spend thousands of pesos on expensive cheeses and meats, while they buy leather, which is more expensive than fabrics that do not come from animals.
ANIMALS FEEL. Cows form complex social bonds and mother cows cry for days for their children, who we take away since they aren't allowed to have their mom's milk. Since we are drinking the milk that is for them. Pigs are more intelligent than most human 3 year-olds. Chickens can feel when we slit their throats. Fish suffocate when we take them out of the sea and they can feel each excruciating second that they're not in the water. WHAT THE FUCK. UGH.
I'm tired and I hate that I don't have a vegan support group to rant this to, that I'm only one person among seven billion, that...
so someone gave us fresh fish. like a medium bucket full. and we didn't know what to do with it. hahaha. i mean i watch them clean em up in the market but never tried it at home. didn't even know if we have to remove all the scales or whatever. hassle! well, just thankful for the gift. at least there's something that we can cook quickly. now how to remove that fishy stench on my hand is another story. sigh.
Friday came and my mind is Monday busy. I saw a vid in fb where a mother bear and a baby bear were climbing up a snowy mountain. The mother bear already reached the top, but the baby bear kept falling and falling, I thought he won't be able to make it. But after climbing and sliding back down so many times, the baby bear eventually managed to reach the top. The caption says something like "never give up," but I think there's more to it than that.
The mountain was stiff and there was cliff below. I don't think the baby bear kept climbing up because of a never-give-up attitude. He just didn't have much choice.
You know what, I just found a mountain. May the Universe bless me.
A lot of things happening. I need to squeeze a meetup with the customer tomorrow kasi nakakahiya na. Still, I'm kinda happy because I know that busy is good.
Got the instructions from the owner of the place I'd be staying in for 5 days, 2 weeks from now. I'm glad that we don't have to meet, but I still hope things go on smoothly by then.
Bff scheduled meeting up with my parents on the 14th since they'll be ninong and ninang in her wedding. She wants me to be there by then so it's gotta be dinner time. Said she'll be bringing my dress. I told her to buy 1 size smaller than my size. I didn't lose a single pound. What was I thinking?
Things will change in just a little more than a week from now. More changes are coming by 2019. Things are changing except me. Or am I not?