Posted by chronicwind on March 25, 2018 at 12:01 AM
am i doing
with my life
am i doing
with my life
Pag natapos to, pag ayaw na niya, iiyak talaga ko
Ive fallen deeper than i thought
on a roadtrip to hometown
while on the other part of the planet my friends are off to Tokyo
if at this point in time, i'm in that part of the world
i may also be travelling with them.
Life and parallel universe
sometimes, they do coincide
but you are where you are because you choose to be where you are
we make our own choices
we live with our own decisions
and life is all that
standing up and accepting the consequences of what you chose to do in the first place.
so here i am on a roadtrip
thinking about things I wanted to do
places I wanted to explore
and yes, telling myself, do it, one at a time.
A lot of things are breaking my heart today that i'm surprised i'm even standing.
pero sa tingin ko talaga PMS lang to. pak this.
lakas ko pa kumain kung kelan i plan to wear swimsuit sa outing namin this sat.
pero keber. magsi swimsuit ako. sana lang kasya.
namimiss ko na mag swimming. the last time i swim was 2 weeks ago.
we handed one of our pups to his new owner. soon, the others will go too, leaving only my riri behind.
the new owner of the 1st pup lives just accross the house so everytime i hear a wailing animal, i go crazy.
this is just so heartbreaking. i know mom's heartbroken too. if only we can give them a better life here. T_T
"Savings namin un ni Zah. Sabi ko sa kanya mag** ulit sya dun para makaipon kami."
a friend sent me a screenshot from the convo she had with the boy.
The "kami ni zah" joke. Bow.
pag kami lang, hindi naman sya ganyan kalandi.
alam ko naman joke lang.
pero di ba, jokes are half meant?
still, joke parin.
putek, nako confuse ako.
ayoko na nga.
a thin place is a term used for millennia to describe a place in time where the space between heaven and earth grows thin and the Sacred and the secular seem to meet.
it's not everyday that we encounter our "thin place". yesterday, i encountered mine in the most inconspicuous place - in a spa. i got the package SP 2 which had body scrub and body massage. so had to do the body scrub first and the lady named Angel who did it, hooked me into a very engaging and enlightening conversation. and for some reason i just felt His presence and that everthing happens for a reason.
i have been feeling desperate the past few days. really - when it rains it pours. and here this lady was sharing about her recent experience of losing her home to a fire, where her kids had to live with her in laws until she and her husband can find a way to rebuild their home. and it was a third of a seemingly continuous bad luck she was having since the start of the year. her youngest had dengue and had heart complications, and then she met a road accident and then the fire.
somehow, i share in her desperation. since my Mom is in the hospital for more than 3 months now and not having any significant development neurulogically. and then our financial woes at home because of this. everything just seem to be such a burden. and i'm running out of ideas how we can survive. the lady named Angel was an inspiration. she may have been human for the first few weeks of her predicament but she had to stand strong and make all effort to fight.
i just felt it. it was a message, that we all are going through bad bumps in our lives. that He wanted to comfort me and hear His message through Angel. she said, "di naman tayo bibigyan ng pagsubok na di natin kaya lusutan." so cliche yet so profound.
Thank you Lord for sending an Angel.