Posted by chronicwind on November 12, 2019 at 11:42 AM
How to stop caring
Sa mga ginagawa ng mga tao na hindi ko ginagawa
How to stop caring
Sa mga ginagawa ng mga tao na hindi ko ginagawa
I never thought mom would actually upgrade our internet so quickly. I complained to her that I
was never getting done due to how slow the internet is when she's using it, had called
PLDT right away for an upgrade. From 1mbps to 5mbps. My usual 100mb+ downloade went from more than
12 minutes to around 3 minutes. And I was able finish a lot of downloads. I can use the internet
properly while she uses it. Of course, it comes with sacrifices with saving even more from using
the electricity and water bills. I can now get everything done much faster and my productivity
PLDT also announces a free permanent speedboost for FIBR subscribers. But you have to register
and they'll check if your place will have one before you get one. While its great, its a
hassle to register when they could just upgrade it right away. I mean we deserve a better
service from them when other ISPs offer faster and less expensive subscriptions.
While there are better ISPs out there. Were still sticking to PLDT because we need the landline
phone. Two known ISPs like Converge and Sky only offer TV cables. Also according to some info,
their customer service sucks. Probably not as sucky as PLDT or Globe.
Home is where family is. My parents, brother, niece, sis-in-law... thet are my family. But aside from them, I have other people I consider family though we're not related by blood.
With them, I'm not afraid to be seen as "maarte". They already know. I eat food from their plates, and they sometimes finish mine. I often rest my arms on their back, or on their lap, with very little hesitation. When in a crowd of strangers, theirs are the faces that I first look for. They bully me a lot. I'll give them my most sarcastic retort. Then, we will laugh.
We correct eachother right on the face. We bully eachother and laugh about it together.
Well, hindi rin naman talaga perfect. Nagkaka bad tripan din. Naiirita din ako sa kanila madalas. Pero in the end of the day, sa piling nila, alam ko, I'm home. Isa sa mga pinagpapasalamat ko sa langit e yung hinayaan Nyang matagpuan ko ang mga taong to.
Contest today. Dahil nakipagpalit ako ng shift para rito, alam syempre ni TL. Sobrang lakas mang-asar nun. Sabi nya manonood daw sya at magdadala ng banner. Tas niyaya nya pa yung iba. Lol. Syempre joke lang naman yun.
Sa totoo lang, hindi ako masyadong friendly. I prefer to be alone over being with people I'm not comfortable with. On the 12th will be my 4th month here. I think I really like these people. They don't feel like home to me yet, pero sana over time, maging malapit din sa puso ko ang account na ito gaya nang nararamdaman ko para sa Elite. Challenge yun for me kasi nga, hindi ako friendly at mejo mahiyain pa ko. I love the concept of family. It would be nice if a day will come that I'll start considering these people as family.
Placed 2nd sa Evaluation contest. We will be sending 2 contestants per contest sa Area Contests on January. This means I'll be competing by then. Gusto ko maging national champion. Tinatamad din talaga ko. Pero wala lang, para makapag papansin lang sa mga crush ko, ganun. Lol.
Yung mga friends ko nag eexpand na ng pamilya, ako napapansin parin sa crush.
May nirereto sakin si Diana na lalaki. A Korean dude in his 30s. Pulis daw work nito sa Korea. Ayoko talaga ng foreigner at mas lalong ayoko sa pulis, pero naisip ko na date lang naman at hindi naman kami magpapakasal, so I told her, "sige, go."
Naalala ko yung sabi ni Andee. Single women should date a lot daw. Hindi para kilalanin yung guy, kundi para mas makilala mo pa yung sarili mo.
Sa totoo lang, nakakatamad makipagdate lalo na't hindi naman talaga ako interesado. Still, bring it on.
Thursday. I was able to catch the last train from work on the way to my place in Manda. My shift tomorrow will be 4 hours earlier. Nawa ay magising ako sa alarm.
The travel could take more than 20 minutes. Sarado na yata ang mga mall by then.
Tomorrow will be the club contest. I needed to say "no" for a meetup because of this.
Know what, I have an officemate named Wilma. We call her Wendy. She once saw me busy with extracurricular stuff and told me, "ang busy mo no..." She also told me na sana daw ganun din sya. Sya daw kasi walang direction at go with the flow lang. Pero sa totoo lang, wala naman akong pinagkaiba kay Wendy.
Ano future plans ko? Wala.
Anong goals ko sa buhay? Hindi ko sure.
Paano ko nakikita ang sarili ko 5 years from now? Heck, I don't even know.
At sa tingin ko, ok lang naman talaga yun.
Ang sama ng pakiramdam ko today. Runny nose, colds and cough. Ayoko mag sick leave ng Friday dahil made deactivate ang badge ko. Isa pa, ba hassle ko na si Angelo para makipag palit ng shift sakin.
7th day or November. More than a month na kong vegetarian. The last time, I dreamt of eating chicken. In the dream, I regretted it so much that I felt such a relief when I woke up and realized that it was just a dream. I used to think mahirap maging vegetarian. Now I realized, mas mahirap palang bumalik.
I still eat most sea foods except fish. Basta mga walang back bone. I was eating crab last night and was looking at the eyes of the dead crab and felt so sorry. Naiinis ako. Kung lagi nalang akong naawa sa mga hayop, ano pang makakain ko?
Sabi ng isang gifted naturopath, humans are made to be omnivores daw at maraming vitamine deficiencies na makukuha kung vegetarian ka. Ano bang gagawin ko? Naghahanap din ng meat ang katawan ko. Ganito siguro ang feeling ng aswang na nag decide na di na sya ulet kakain ng tao.
Next station na ang baba ko. Eto muna for now.
Naiyak ako sa speech ni Leni.
WHAT A WOMAN. If theres one thing i will never regret in this lifetime, it's voting her as VP.
kelan ba kasi mamamatay si duts
Sad. Mejo lang naman. I've long unfollowed the guy. Married na e. Tigilan na naten. Siguro mejo na curious lang ako. Mostly business-related yung mga posts nya, so I went and checked the wife's. There.
Well, may konting kirot lang naman. Ang hirap kasing hindi maalala ang mga bagay bagay na lumipas na. At syempre magwa wonder ka rin talaga what could have happened kaya if you've chosen differently.
Hindi ako naniniwala sa destiny. Naniniwala ako sa power ng choices natin. At kahit na yung mga choices ko e dinala ako rito sa buhay na wala sya, wala naman talaga akong pinagsisisihan.
Know what, 2019 has been a really good year for me. Damang dama ko ang biyaya ng Langit para sakin at para sa pamilya ko. I'm more than grateful.
Pero siguro, if the Heavens is feeling a little more generous, sana bigyan nya ko ng taong mamahalin. Syempre lalaki. Dapat single. Sana naman yung wala pang anak. Walang ex wife. Yung naka move on na sa ex. Better if wala syang ex at all. Ok lang kahit hindi perfect, basta perfect para sakin. Walang serious physical issues at syempre dapat healthy- physically, emotionally, and financially. Ganun lang. Marami namang lalaking ganun. Marami nga akong kilalang lalaki na ganun. Ewan kung bakit madalas sablay ang taste ko sa lalaki. Siguro kailangan ko rin gawing emotionally healthy ang sarili ko. Lol.
Anyway, 1am na. Gigising ako ng 7:30 dahil 2 consecutive days na kong late at muntik nang ma late. Sa Friday, makikipag palit ako ng shift kay Angelo para maka attend ako ng contest. 4 hours earlier yun sa shift ko, so puyatan ito. I actually feel bad kasi alam kong may gala sila and they're supposed to meet 4am the following day. Dahil nakipagpalit sya ng shift, 9pm na sya makakauwi at wala na syang itutulog. Ambait ng taong yun. That guy is actually single...
Wala lang. Nabanggit ko lang.
12nn-9pm shift started today. I decided to commute to and fro home in Bulacan. I left 10am. Our store was still closed and some neighbors were waiting for us to open. As I got past them, 1 neighbor said, "Gag*, di ka pwede dyan. Engineer yan." And, I was like, "Lol".
Was at gathering this weekend where I met sis-in-law's relatives. 1 relative asked me, "maganda ka naman, ba't wala kang boyfriend?" I usually have fun, playful, lighthearted comebacks ready para sa mga ganitong linyahan, pero wala ako sa mood non. When she repeated, "maganda ka naman," I just answered, "of course!" That time I was itching to say, "hindi lang ako basta maganda, matalino pa ako, well-achived, multilingual, multi-talented at marami pang iba." Nakakapikon kasi na sa dinamidami ng magandang traits at kapuri puring bagay na meron ako, lagi lagi nalang na yung wala ang napapansin ng mga taong to.
Ang weird lang, I didn't mind back in the day. Now, I do.
There's this someone I'm seeing differently lately.
Sabi nila, meron daw 5 love languages. Eto yung different ways kung pano NEED ng bawat individual na mahalin. Iba iba daw ang love language ng kada tao. Acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, time at touch. And alam ko dati acts of service ang love language ko. Iniisip ko now, hindi kaya "touch"?
This happened back when I got sick. When I got back to work, this dude walked up to me para alamin kung kamusta na ko. As he did, he motioned the back of his hand towards my neck to check my temperature. E hindi naman lagnat ang sakit ko kundi stomach ache. Lol. Nakakatawa lang. Pero kahit ganun, ang sweet parin. Kahit naman before, sweet talaga tong taong to.
Still, ok... ang ambabaw. Itigil na natin to. Lol.
Pero at least, natutunan ko na weakness ko rin pala yung taong sweet. Sana sweet yung mapang-asawa ko.
Contest this Friday and the next. Ayaw mag sink in. Tamad na tamad ako lately.
Mel, the gang and I are planning to book at place overnight. Tamang Netflix ang Chill lang. Ang hirap mag match ng sched lately. Matutuloy kaya to.
I consider our dog, Gigi, as a miracle dog. Dati kasi she was so sick she was good as dead na. But I asked for her to be restored back to health nung Feast of Divine Mercy. Ngayon bukod sa magaling na sya, anlakas lakas nya pang kumain. Kahit balahibo nya naging mas soft ang silky rin. Totoo nga siguro na binubuhos ni Jesus ang Grace Nya pag FDM.
Ang alam ko, hiniling ko rin na mag flourish ang love life ko. On the way na kaya?
Super quick lang.
Nakasabay ko si Sir P on the way to MRT kanina. Yung crush kong TA. Small talk about the j-hiring progress. Chill na usap lang. Ok naman sya kausap. Comfy. Iniisip ko lang kung anong usual galawan ng mga instaG Gabriella sisters ko sa mga moment na ganito. I'm sure they won't go chill. I think I need to have some "how to landi your crush" tutorial with my lady friends.
Bagong tasa si Crush. Infey, bagay. Mas malinis tignan at nagmukha syang tunay na lalaki. So I told him, "bagay. Para ka nang tunay na lalaki." And he acted all macho and initiated a handshake. Fail. Haha. Hanggang gupit lang talaga ang tunay-na-lalaki look ni Crush. Lol. Of course, I still don't mind.
Naalala ko lang na lahat ng naging crush ko sa company na to e nag iistart sa P. How's that?
And back to Crush, sabi nya excited na daw sya na magka jowa ako. What the eff. Lol.
OTW to meet J. Heavens, please give me wisdom and clarity.